Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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