My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize