someone get that fucking seahorse.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Drake has all the answers
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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