My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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