So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
