So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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