Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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