she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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