id be glad to
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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