smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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