If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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