That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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