He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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