those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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