ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
