Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
