What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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