I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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