i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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