can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
