Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
