Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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