Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
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I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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