I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
