Fine. I'll sleep in my office
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
