You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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