I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
In America we eat man semen.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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