And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
