Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
