And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
