My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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