i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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