12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
