I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
