where am i from again
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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