Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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