My room smells like vodka and shame
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
