puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
