I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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