Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It was confusing and full of hummus
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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