Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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