So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
even my farts smell like vagina
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
