Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
