I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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