I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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