Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
