I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize