Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I accidentally burped into my bong.

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(353): View more from

i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash

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(815): View more from Illinois

So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)

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(615): View more from Tennessee

She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?

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(406): View more from Montana

I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this

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(323): View more from California

Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?

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(914): View more from New York

Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?

(718): View more from New York

I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?

(914): View more from New York

Smarter than the average bear

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(224): View more from Illinois

Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.

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