She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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