i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
