I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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