What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
