Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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