But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
