the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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