Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
