Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
