oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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