They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish you could order shots online.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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