OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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