Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was born a porn star she said
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
