Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
