he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
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And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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