6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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