I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We need to get me chipped asap
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