i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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