they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
